ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
