Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
