you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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