So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
