if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
