I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
