Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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