By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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