in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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