I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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