This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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