I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
