It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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