Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
