Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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