my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
