did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
