his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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