you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
