I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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