You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
