I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
