Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
