Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
