Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
