It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
