i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
