I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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