You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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