wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
