oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
