when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
