Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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