Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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