If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
