"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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