Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
