I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
