Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
