Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
