First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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