it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
