Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
