Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
