I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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