I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
