Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
