I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
