I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
