I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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