I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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