I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
