i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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